Tired

Tonight I am just tired. This past month has been a mixture of good and bad stresses. I am excited of the possibility of traveling all over the country, I like the added responsibility of handling multiple tasks at a time. Honestly, I haven't had a chance to get excited or nervous about this upcoming interview. I keep telling myself I will make the difficult decisions when they are in front of me. When the materialize, it is not worth pondering vaporous prospects. Certainly, my decisions in the near future will impact my life.

Lately, I feel like everything I touch falls to pieces. I have two cars that don't run right now. I realize the accident was not my fault. But my Mini isn't exactly tip-top now is it? Is it because I don't take care of my possessions. Partly. Jennr is limping around the house, shitting on the floor. Will screaming and yelling help the situation. It could. I just never take the initiative to solve the problem. Is it worth expending the energy? Maybe thats why I find myself in the same situations. My unstirable apathy. What does it take to get me to care? I haven't found it yet. I am completely the opposite when it comes to my career. I have no hesitation speaking up and interjecting my opinion. I don't mind taking charge in order to correct a problem. Then again, I could inspect the Mini everyday, bumper to bumper. Could I keep it from breaking down? Not always. It does not mean that I can control the fates.